gsguidefandomcom-20200215-history
The Adventuring Jester
The Adventuring Jester, a tale started by the Carnival, finished by the people. What is the Tale of the Adventuring Jester? This is the story of the Adventuring Jester. It is a story told by a group of people, with no specific aim in mind. People take turns adding their own creativity, and inserting the random perk of dice that have a very vague situation they must create in the Jester's life. I will post the story here, as it unfolds.... Chapter 1 Our heroic, young jester ventures out from the Adventurer's Guild, why not very far from here at all, in this very same town. Task in mind, she dons her pink rolton costume over her armor, makes sure all her defenses are in check, and gazes thru the northern gate of the Landing, with a sense of both fear, and excitement. What lies before her...." Jaired says, "Before she can make her way out of the gate, however, she is beset by a stingy old man..." Jaired asks, "What the hell is this?" he exclaims! Pointing a fat and dirty finger in her direction, "One does not venture forth in such apparel. Do you expect the kobolds to die from laughter?" Nemeia softly says, "She looks up, around, and finalized realizes that the stingy old man was pointing to her. Our young jester is beset by an invasion of shame, but she pushed it down quickly." Nemeia says, ""I am searching for my true love," she exclaims. "I shall know him by a similar costume. Who are you to judge?"." Alica says, "The stingy man shakes his head and wanders off muttering "She'll lilkely end up wed to a real rolton that one." Alica says, "The monster was ugly and smelled of too much ale." Alica says, "Our young adventurer was ready to fend him off when she realized she had readied her defenses...but had left behind her sword." Alica shakes her head, clucking her tongue. Alica says, "With a loud belch, and a sour greeting she realized that it wasn't a monster at all, but a dwarf named Grumblia." Mithogras exclaims, "She turned back to the gate to rectify that situation when she was suddenly startled by a loud CRACK behind her. For a moment she thought the monst--er, Grumblia had collapsed from inebriation and knocked her skull into the gate, but no, it was the snap of an arrow thunking into a tree. Bandits were attacking!" Mithogras says, "Realizing the deadly peril the dwarf would be left to if abandoned, our jester knew she had no hope but to stand and fight. Reaching courageously into her backpack, she wrapped her fingers around the first thing she felt and withdrew the only thing she had that might serve as a weapon." Jesphian says, "Feeling something soft and furry whe pulled it out quickly with a wide grin and bright voice. Raising her voice and shouting "Cry havoc and let slip the hedge hog of war!" and setting the furry little creature on the ground." Jesphian says, "The bandits caught by surprise and wonder leap back not quite understanding, then the little hedge hog yawns and shows it's razor sharp teeth." Jesphian says, "Our intrepid and energetic adventurer roars at the bandits and then shouts, "Get'em!" in a shrill voice and charges head long at the group of bandits, who are unmoving in near stunned silence." Klaas says, "The bandits...who's stunned silence she mistook for fear of her brave undertaking...seem to be looking past her." Klaas says, "Their eyes locked upon the small hedgehog...whom she thought would offer a fine distraction..." Klaas says, "The small ball of prickles stares deeply into the eyes of our heroine...its eyes flash with an unholy purple glow..." Klaas says, "Falling deeply into its gaze...the jester seems unable to supress her fears of failure." Jaired says, "It was then and there that the jester found herself in the middle of the invasion... in the middle of something bigger than her." Jaired says, "The hedgehog winked..." Jaired says, "And a single streak of light consumed it from the heavens as it let out a mighty squeek. A squeek unlike that Elanthia had ever heard before... its tiny spines grew and took on a golden hue as a deafening hum of power began to emanate from the tiny creature." Jaired says, "There it floated for a time, until the ray of light rescinded to the sky above and the hedgehog remained... bathed in an unearthly glow..." Jaired says, "The bandits began to stumble backwards, but it was too late..." Jaired says, "The hedgehog lifted its paws above its head as it began to gather immeasurable power into a single, minute little globe of light that grew and grew with each moment..." Nemeia says, "The globe expanded, pulsing. Beat, beat, beat." Nemeia says, "Our little jester could only gaze, horrified, as the bandits melted away in agonized flashes of plasma." Nemeia says, "The gigantic hedgehog lowered its paws and gazed on her calmly. She waited, breath catching in her throat until..." Nemeia says, "A voice! It whispered from all directions." Nemeia says, ""I know what you seek. You shall not find it here. It shall be in another land, far, far from here."." Nemeia says, "She jumped, startled, but the voice continued. "Do not worry, little one. Once you find that which you yearn for, I shall return you to your home."." Nemeia says, ""I am your patron spirit, after all," the voice -- presumably of the hedgehog -- added." Nemeia says, "With that, a bright flash blinds our jester." Nemeia says, "When she can open her pain-filled eyes again, she sees a rolling, golden plain spread out before her. Terrified, stumbling, she runs down the path before her and comes across a travelling caravan led by a silver donkey." Your cord-strung acorn continues to glow vivid emerald. Mithogras says, "At the bottom of the path, she looks around, half-dazed, and muttering to herself, 'But Surtey said for sure, pink clover blossoms would be found in Graendlor Pasture. I don't think we're in Graendlor anymore, hedgehog.' As the caravan approaches, she sees a dark and roiling disturbance to the north and gazes at it worriedly." Mithogras asks, "The caravan having nearly reached her, she turns, spying several people walking alongside the mules and wagons, and asks, 'Can you please tell me where I am? And what's all that black mess over there?' A man's voice answers, 'Why this is Talador, miss, well, near to. And that's the great black tempest,' but she's thinking her mind must be playing tricks on her. Surely it wasn't the donkey's lips moving?" Mithogras says, "The caravan slows and comes to a stop next to her, and she's just trying to make enough sense out of everything to ask her next question when suddenly a doe bolts from the woods to the west. It gives her an oddly placid look and she feels, rather than hears, within her mind the words, 'Follow me.' She turns back to the caravan but the feeling inside her mind grows more insistent: 'No! Danger there!'." Mithogras says, "Near the silver donkey is an unshaven man with a patch over one eye. He opens his mouth wide as if to speak to her, but no words come forth. Only an odd, black vapor." Jesphian says, "Creeping out from under the nearby brush following the doe is our intrepid, if misguided, adventurers hedgehog." Jesphian says, "She stares at the hedgehog blankly as if to say, "now what" and flicks her gaze back to the Man that has breath like her friend Grumblia." Jesphian says, "Only in her moments distraction the man with the bad breath had come closer and had silver leg and wrist irons in his hands." Jesphian says, "Realizing at that moment she should have listened to the doe, she shrieked and gave the dirty old man a nice swift kick where ladies kick evil advancing men." Jesphian says, "It is at that precise moment, amidst the howling sort of gagging sound coming form the man, that she feels a warm glow taking shape beside her." Jesphian says, "Wondering as she does, what sort of fresh hell is this..." Jesphian says, "Looking at the glowing form of the hedge hog she see's that it is mutating and headed straight for the caravan..." Jesphian nods to you. Jaired says, "The entire earth lifts up around the caravan, not unlike two covers of a book being slammed together in a sudden and deafening crack of sound..." Jaired says, "The previously bright light before her begins to fade to a struggling little speck of hope before fizzling away." Jaired says, "The Jester stares for a moment, unsure as to what she just witnessed... and the two halves seperate and lay flat once again, leaving nothing but the 'caravan' in plain view." Jaired says, "She glared. A trap, and a good one at that..." Jaired says, "You're a long way from home..." Jaired says, "The Jester turned to the voice but only saw an empty space beside her." Jaired says, "But things aren't all that different," the voice continued, and she followed it down towards the earth. It was a honey badger, its indifferent gaze leveled at the scene before them, "Come with me if you want to see home." Klaas says, "Her head spinning from the recent occurances...the jester considers her options...mutated hedgehog...black tempests...or the honey badger's offer." Klaas says, "Making a snap decision...she nods curtly to the badger and prepares for her "journey home"." Klaas says, "The badger shuffles into the brush...as she proceeds to follow a rumbling growl is heard." Klaas says, "'the badger's unconscious body is hurled from the underbrush landing in a heap at her feet..." Klaas says, "The vines, leaves, and trees of the woods begin to coalesce into a living breathing monstrosity...it would appear that Talador is no place for a young Jester." Nemeia says, "The young jester gasped, and looked down as a croak sounded somewhere from behind her." Nemeia says, "The old, evil man lying on the ground stares." Nemeia says, "At her, hand outstretched in a grotesque claw. It seems he is manipulating the vines." Nemeia says, "She quickly scurries over to the man, avoiding the facedown badger, and with a mighty grimace steps on his clawed hand." Nemeia exclaims, "As the old man belts out a cry of pain, she spies a pendant on his chest!" Nemeia says, "There! The source of his power." Nemeia says, "She reaches down, and with one smooth motion rips it off of the man with a sharp crack." Nemeia says, "Nothing happens. The vines keep twisting ominously, crawling closer..." Nemeia says, "Ever closer." Nemeia says, "Our jester wails, perplexed, and looks around. There! A box." Nemeia says, "She grabs the small, gold-inlaid box, and finding a handy rock, lays to it with a mighty blow." Nemeia says, "Sparks fly! The man gives one great sob of horror, and falls silent in the dirt. The vines crumble and scatter." Nemeia says, "Stunned, relieved, our unlucky heroine pants for breath." Nemeia says, ""Help! Help us!" She suddenly hears." Nemeia says, "The voices waft out from the caravan, punctuated by dull thuds." Nemeia says, "Despite her best judgment, the jester gently picks up the hapless honey badger and walks over to one rusty wagon. With a trembling hand, she opens the door..." Nemeia says, "And inside, spies two men. One with a mess of light blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. Another, darkly handsome and brooding." Nemeia says, ""Oh, goodness! Thank goodness! You have saved us! We were prisoners of a horrible man, or a horrible smoke, whichever it was." The blonde man goofily rushed forward to shake her hand." Nemeia says, "The jester stood there, stunned again." Nemeia says, "The other man sat in the back and watched." Nemeia says, ""We must get out of here! Before more of them arrive!" The blonde man urged." Nemeia says, ""Oh! And let me get my things." He turned around and clumsily fumbled around a pile outside of the wagon." Nemeia says, ""Ahah!" He exlaimed, and pulled out a cloak. He placed it on, and to our jester's shock, saw two blue roton ears adorning its hood." Nemeia says, "Our jester blanched, stumbled backward, mutter, "No! Not YOU," before another arrow thunked past her ear." Nemeia asks, "BANDITS! AGAIN?" Mithogras says, "'Yes,' said the blonde man, 'It is I, Phillipopher Derriack Gastolph the Third, who you left so coldly that night at Helga's, but no mind--WHAT!?' He stopped suddenly as the bandit arrows began to whiz by in great number. Suddenly the dark, quiet man leapt to his feet and rushed outside, picking up a piece of wood on the way which he began to wield almost as a small quarterstaff." Mithogras exclaims, "He jumped in front of the bandits, seemingly oblivious to the hopelessness of his task, still not saying a word. Our Jester blushed at her own indecisiveness and shouted at rolton-ears, 'Oh, come on and HELP, you fool!' She rushed to after the bandits, ducking arrows, taking time only to shove the badger safely behind the wagon wall out of the line of fire. She picked up a stick herself and waved it like a madwoman. She grinned in triumph as she saw the bandits hesitate when they caught sight of her desperate charge, then the triumph turned to rage. The bastards were LAUGHING at her!" Mithogras says, "'Oh, I'll get you you fools!' she shouted. 'For hedgehogs and badgers the world over!' Upon them, she made to whack the bow out of the leaders' hands but suddenly stopped, gazing in horror at the monstrosity approaching from behind them. It was big as a house! Well, no, maybe closer to the size of a shed but still it was the hugest ogre she'd ever seen in her life. Well, the only one she'd ever seen but she'd heard the stories." Mithogras asks, "The ogre jumped into the melee and picked up the bandit leader as if he were a rag doll, but the other two bandits were too busy fighting mister dark and silent to pay any attention. Now that the odds were better, who would prevail?" Klaas says, "The melee raged on...chaos abounding as the ogre weilded the limp body of the bandit leader much like a club." Klaas says, "Mister dark and handsome was caught offguard by the make shift attack..." Klaas says, "He was struck with such force that his body flung into the two bandits he was engaged with." Klaas says, "Seeing its advantage...the ogre turned to face our pink-clad jester...a toothy grin crossing its ugly face." Klaas says, "Grumbling to herself...she glance over her shoulder to see Phillipopher rummaging through the debris of the caravan." Klaas says, "Still useless...she thought to herself...as her introspective moment concluded the blonde dandy produced a amall clay pot from the wreckage..." Klaas says, "Phillipopher quickly removed the top from the pot...grabbing the still unconscious honey badger her began to wave the pot under its nose." Klaas exclaims, "To the jester's suprise the honey badger made a snorfling sound and opened its eyes...a honeypot!" Klaas says, "Next thing she knew our cowering blonde friend had hurled the honeypot at the grinning ogre...it connected dousing the hideous beast in gobs of delicious sweetness." Klaas exclaims, "The jester could do little but step aside as the reinvigorated honey badger lept onto the hapless oger!" Adryanne says, "A platoon of massive cave trolls wandered in..." Adryanne says, "And promtly started atacking everyone." You recite quietly: "The honey badger, after having licked all the honey from the dead ogre's corpse, was enraged and on a sugar high. Seeing the swarm of incoming trolls, he dashed towards them. So oblivious in his desire to rend troll flesh, he did not notice the lamp oil, from the destroyed caravan, that was still burning, and caught his fur on fire. As some of you may know, however, honey badgers don't give a... rip. He waged into the troll platoon, his fur aflame." You recite quietly: "The flames caught fire on the trolls fur armor, and the hairs upon their body... in what seemed like mere seconds, and knowing a honey badger it probably was, the trolls were left little more than charred puddles of fleshy goop. The honey badger turned, and perhaps grinned at the Rolton Wearing Duo... before the look of shock took his features." You quietly say, "There was our Jester with a bucket of water... "Mister Honey Badger, you're all on fire!!" SPLOOOOSH!" You quietly say, "This made the honey badger quite angry... as you might could understand, or perhaps not. He charged after the Jester, her Rolton Ear Hooded Cloak Friend, and chased them down the plains. The golden light once more began to pulse..." You quietly say, "The journey was apparently complete. Her love found... or... something to that nature. They could hear the honey badger hiss in displeasure as their forms were whisked away from the Plains of Ozwizar... and back to the Landing's gate." You quietly say, "Rolton Ears turned to the Jester, and proclaimed "My love, how I have waited! Let us be wed!"." You quietly say, "Wide-eyed, the Jester turned to answer him... but was interrupted by a familiar hiss." You quietly say, "The end." Chapter 2 The start of our chapter 2: The Jester has heard about the Mirror's fate, and is travelling to Illistim to see what sort of fame and fortune she might find...." Mithogras says, "So then, she arrives in Illistim, and was pleasantly surprised to see that it was rather a neater-kept city than the unruly Landing." Mithogras says, "But not so pleasantly thinking of the sneers some of the elves seemed to be giving her. Maybe they don't like rolton costumes." Mithogras says, "So she'd heard of the illness of the Mirror and knew that, if she could heal the ruler, the elves would HAVE to treat her kindly." Mithogras says, "She wasn't a professional healer as such, but she figured that her recent experience with all sorts of monsters meant that she knew something about staying alive, at least. Maybe that would count for something. She also knew that healers needed herbs and things when someone was really, really ill." Mithogras says, "She climbed up a hillside, noting what looked like an observatory that might be interesting to visit come night-time, but business first. That looked like a good spot for wingstem root, up ahead in a crevice in the hillside." Mithogras says, "She got down on her knees and began foraging for the root, and soon she had a nice pouchful. But there was one stubborn root that just wouldn't come loose. She pulled, and she pulled harder, and harder." Mithogras says, "And all of a sudden, the face of the hill collapsed, revealing a secret cavern! And inside the cavern, hunched over a flat rock seeming interested in some sort of stones that looked a bit like dice, was a whole pack of shan." Mithogras says, "She suppressed a shriek, sitting there stunned for a moment while they all looked over at her in surprise. One of them suddenly gave a great shout, pointing." Mithogras exclaims, "She knew she had to run. But she was lost unless she could slow them down. She turned, reaching into her pouch to find something to help. No hedgehog this time to save her!" Mithogras says, "Her fingers closed on a tiny black sphere she'd picked up while travelling. It didn't seem like much help, and she threw it to the ground." Mithogras says, "All of a sudden, the Shan all stopped, looking around stupidly." Dandi exclaims, "What she didn't know is that tiny black sphere was a magic black sphere of teleportation! It actually grew into a giant black bubble and whisked her away safely back to town!" Dandi lets out a cheer! Dandi exclaims, "After that scary run in, our Jester decided it was time to take it easy and maybe find some food. So she stopped in at the local bakery for some cookies!" Dandi says, "Cookies and milk safely in her belly and whisked neatly off her Rolton Costume, she ventured back out to find some more life saving herbs to help the Queen Lady of Tal'Illistm." Dandi says, "She decided to go left instead of right away from the Shan Cavern of doom, she found a path of grass and roltons grazing and it looked like a safe spot to start digging around for something new and life giving." Dandi exclaims, "When all of a sudden a pack of Kobolds happened apon her!" Dandi gasps. Dandi starts jumping around like a twelve-year-old. Dandi exclaims, "These Kobolds had masks on!" Dandi exclaims, "They looked like they were Blue Half Krolvins!" You quietly ask, "Krobolds? Kobolvins?" Caprolkian says, "Krobolds. I like Krobolds." Dandi exclaims, "They yelled at our Jester, 'DO YOU KNOW THE GREAT ONE!" Dandi exclaims, "DO YOU KNOW THE ALL MIGHTY BRINRET?!" Dandi says, "Confused the Jester shakes her head and says no, angrily they thrust a sign at her, She sees a Wanted for Crimes sign with Brinret's face upon it." Dandi says, "She realizes, these guys must worship this Brinret person." Jullia says, "Ok so the Jester looks at the sign and it looks a bit like Dozer after a stinging curse. She keeps telling the masked short folks with backpacks as she backs away from them slowly." Jullia says, "She is more confused because the kobolds in masks are backing away too... strange... when suddenly..." Jullia gasps. Jullia says, "The Jester backs right into something.. or somethings..." Jullia says, "She turns swiftly drawing her weapons." Jullia removes an ornate rusted ora falchion from in her dark blue wool Jullia exclaims, "The chief trali!!" Caprolkian says, "The jester spins, her weapon at the ready. Up on the balls of her feet, she was ready to fight." Caprolkian says, "Behind her, she hears bodies hit the grass, one after the other in quick succession. Before her stands a massive rolton. Easily 15 to 20 hands high." Caprolkian says, "Fur perfect white, teeth curved and sharpened by wear." Caprolkian says, "Beads had been braided into the roltons beard. Thick, like onyx, but clearer." Caprolkian says, "But that wasn't what startled the Krobolds." Caprolkian says, "Astride the war rolton, sat a blue elf with a rather confused, but still regal, look on his face." Caprolkian says, "Lord Brinret! cried the krobolds." Caprolkian exclaims, "We had just captured this intruder, and were going to execute her!" Caprolkian says, "The blue elf frowned, and webbed the speaker so hard his teeth clicked as his jaw was shut. You will do no such thing! He bellowed." Caprolkian says, "Brinret drew a bag from his lap, and threw it to the ground in front of the Jester. "." Caprolkian says, "I found these weeds, he said. You didn't get them from me."." Anatae says, "A look of awe spread over our Jester's face as she looked up at the blue elf." Anatae says, "A true Hero! she thought to herself." Anatae says, "Just as she started to stammer out a pretty thank you, the rolton reared up and bounded off with her hero astride." Anatae says, "Crestfallen she turned her attention to the bag of herbs, hoping to find out something more to lead her back to the blue elf." Anatae says, "Sorting through them she found most were the ones she wanted." Anatae says, "Eyes misty, she began to walk toward the shining elf city." Anatae says, "Almost back, she could taste the adoration of being the one to find the herbs to heal the sleeping Mirror." Anatae says, "Paying little attention to her steps, she took the right path when the left would have brought her safely home." Anatae says, "Tripping over a rock in the road, she found herself looking at the smelly dirty feet of an orc woman." Anatae says, "The orc's hand reached out but it almost looked to the Jester like a spell was being cast." Dandi exclaims, "Okay! I gotta know what grutik are first!" Dandi exclaims, "Telling a story about a Jester in a rolton Costume about to have a spell being cast on her by an Orcish woman!" Dandi exclaims, "So! the orcish woman cast a spell on the Jester in a Rolton costume! She thought if your going to look like a rolton, you should sound like on too!" Dandi exclaims, "All of a sudden all the jester could make was BLEAT noises!" (Dandi bleats!) Dandi exclaims, "This made our poor Jester very sad!" Dandi exclaims, "How was she suppose to communicate with people when all they could hear was bleating!" Dandi exclaims, "The orcish lady laughed now at her cruel joke!" Dandi says, "Casting another spell at our Jester, to make her involentarily hop around on all fours." Dandi exclaims, "Dance ROLTON! Dance!" Dandi says, "Dark times for our Jester indeed." Dandi says, "So this Evil Orcish lady is casting all these mean spells on our Jester in Rolton costume." Dandi says, "When a band of Orcs distend on them." Dandi exclaims, "Grisherdiba!" Dandi asks, "WHAT are you doing!?" Dandi says, "The large one with a curling mustatche bellows at her." Dandi says, "Gasping the large evil orcish lady stops what she is doing." Dandi says, "The jester gets dropped to the ground gasping for air." Dandi exclaims, "She gulps and finds her voice back finally!" Dandi nods enthusiastically to you! Dandi exclaims, "Grisherdiba! It's not nice to play with your FOOD! You are suppose to hunt, not play!" Dandi says, "The evil orcish lady hangs her head in shame knowing that she is getting a yelling at, the rest of the band of orcs gather around her all gabbing at her." Dandi exclaims, "During this time none of them are looking at the little jester in a rolton costume. She realizes this is the time to make her Cunning escape. By Running WILDLY AWAY as fast as she CAN!" Jullia says, "Well she runs and runs." Jullia says, "The poor jester is heavy with herbs in her sack and worries on her mind." Jullia says, "She gets to a gate that she thought would bring her safety when.. WHEN..." Jullia says, "A guard steps in front of her." Jullia rolls her eyes. Jullia searches around for a moment. Jullia says, "The Jester offers rat pelts, gnome scalps," Jullia says, "Nothing.. he wants gold till." Jullia exclaims, "HE SEES THE KOBOLDS!" Jullia says, "The old drunk called a guard dashes up a tower ladder and poof he is gone." Jullia says, "So the jester pulls her weapon again as the kobolds round the corner and block her way." Jullia removes an ornate rusted ora falchion from in her dark blue wool cloak. Jullia exclaims, "She pushes on the gate! IT OPENS!" Jullia lets out a cheer! Jullia says, "Trouble is the Kobolds follow her into town mad as hornets along with the angry orc queen and the Chief." Jullia exclaims, "The city is under ATTACK!!" Dandi places her hands on her hips and casually surveys her surroundings. Dandi exclaims, "The city is under attack!" Dandi exclaims, "And this is all the Jester's fault!" Dandi exclaims, "She was just trying to make everything better!" Dandi exclaims, "And instead she's made it all worse!" Dandi exclaims, "And now a Troop of Krovlin and joined in banding with the group of fighting to take down the mighty town!" Dandi asks, "Will the town burn, all because our little Jester decided to make the world a little brighter?" Dandi places her hands on her hips and casually surveys her surroundings. Dandi exclaims, "Its' all his fault really!" Dandi exclaims, "But do you think the history books will see it that way?!" Dandi sighs. Dandi says, "So the elves are gearing up!" Dandi exclaims, "They are rallying all the allies!" Dandi exclaims, "They are getting together for this EPIC battle of mass grandness!" Dandi exclaims, "I think this is where we should leave it off. THE BIG BATTLE CLIFFHANGER!" Buu huskily says, "Et vas et dat momenz a snarfin tumblr broke da slilenz ob da hevens." Buu gazes heavenward. Buu huskily exclaims, "Boom!" Buu huskily says, "An all denm dar lookedt up tu see a griffon." Buu huskily says, "Fallin thru da air." Buu huskily says, "And et landedt vit a thud on da kolbolds dat in a mad attempz tu get outta da vey runsz smak dab entu eech utter." Buu huskily says, "Et vas den dat Buu's dog, Pig oinkedt loudlee." Buu huskily says, "An smiled et da Jester." Buu huskily says, "A offeredt her a bone frum a golem." Buu huskily says, "Vhich she opickedt up and swung above her head vit grate enthuziasm." Buu huskily exclaims, "An screamedt en a loud, BLEAT!" Buu huskily says, "An da Griffon bowed tu hur." Buu huskily says, "An lowered etselp." Buu huskily says, "An allowedt da jester to climb abovez ets mitey haunches." Buu huskily says, "An den vit a grate bound da griffon vas off and Pig folloed close behinz." Buu huskily exclaims, "An all vas goot!" You quietly say, "It was then, that Cassae arrived... dragging a nearly comatose Jani in tow. Jani's face appeared striken with grey veins, only visible because her veil had fallen aside in her weakened state, being nearly incapable of moving on her own." You quietly say, "Cassae made some sort of mutterings about "the blood" as Jani protested weakly. The disappeared within the Keep, where upon guards moved in to block the way quickly." You quietly say, "The Jester presented her bag of herbs that she... well... Brinret and his Brinrolds had foraged... though it took no small means of haggling with the guards to even get them to accept them. Their attitude left one more than suspicious if the herbs would even make their way to the Mirror." You quietly say, "Mission complete, though not exactly leaving her with a sense of accomplishment, she pulled her portal ticket from her containers, and made her way towards the portal to return to that rough-shod town she was so familiar with." You quietly say, "The End." Chapter 3 Our Jester has returned from the Elven Nations, once more donning her bunny suit, with armor beneath, and her pink longsword with lime green polka dots, and a reinforced shield. She returns to her home town of the Landing, and finds it besieged, with Crimson Glowing Portals, and the Griffin Sword has gone missing." You exclaim, "Clever, she chases after the Griffin Sword. How, you might ask? By diving into one of those crimson rifts!" Mithogras says, "So our Jester, determined to aid in delivering the Landing from its dark woes and return the griffin sword, steps outside the gate to where she has heard another crimson rift has appeared." Mithogras says, "There it is, bigger than she expected, right outside Hearthstone Manor! A number of adventurers are gathered around it, and the Lord Marshal staring at the rift with a concerned expression. She steps nearer the rift cautiously, watching those gathered for any sign." Mithogras says, "Just a few steps away, a halfling notices her and warns, "Oh Miss Jester, be careful! Don't get too close, bad things come out of that." Mithogras says, "She smiles nervously but winks at the small man, telling him not to worry, because she's not going to be caught by anything coming out of the rift. Because..." Mithogras exclaims, "And she suddenly begins running, raising the pink longsword in front of her and yelling the first battle cry that comes to mind: BANANA CUSTARD!" Mithogras says, "And is quite surprised to discover that she has dived into--a viscous red liquid." Shilarra says, "Raspberry syrup I suppose." Speaking to Shilarra, Mithogras says, "Cherry." Mithogras says, "With some sixth sense she keeps from gasping in surprise and getting a mouthful of whoknowswhat into her lungs. After a moment of thrashing around, she realizes that she can swim, and does so. It proves difficult, but manageable and before long she breaks through the surface to find herself near the shore of a large, red lake." Mithogras says, "Just as she reaches land and collapses, exhausted, she notices a strange animal moving her way. It is about the size of and description of a rolton, except with a slight pink tinge and a horn the length of a hand-span protruding from its forehead." Mithogras says, "It snorts irritably as it lowers its head and races toward our Jester, who is too shocked and tired to try to escape." Mithogras says, "The unirolton, also called rolnicorn by some, reaches her quickly and the Jester starts to see her life flashing before her eyes as she struggles to raise her almost-forgotten sword." Mithogras says, "The rolnicorn drops its head, and begins licking the syrup from her arm, bleating happily." Mithogras says, "Just then they both turn their heads to the woods to the north and hear a very loud noise." Shilarra says, "Out of the woods come 12 blue monkeys chattering like Berbels and smelling like him to." The scruffy red squirrel makes a sudden leap, trying to gain access to the top of your head! Muttering imprecations at the obnoxious rodent, you manage to herd it back down to your shoulder. Shilarra says, "They all line up infront of the Unirolton side by each two rows of six, each pair draws a harness out of their cotton candy packs and hand the reins to the unirolton who waves his unihorn and a chariot of raspberry gummies appears." Shilarra says, "The Unirolton gives our Jester one more lick before smacking it's lips of the cherry juice and cracks her horn at the blue monkeys, who start spinning faster and faster throwing cotton candy inback of them as their furry feet move in a flurry, multi-colord cotton candy trails behing the chariot as they take off across a bridge made of marshmellow fluff, cotten candy wisps flying over the bridge in a mirad of colors." Shilarra says, "Over a brook of hot chocolate they round the bend as they see a pulse of bubbling hot cinnimon apples, they fly over the apples letting the cotton candy drop into the bubbling pit, and land on a slab of frozen orange ice." Shilarra exclaims, "The blue monkeys chatter uncontrollbly as they point down, handing our Jester an icepick, the Unirolton waves it's horn at our Jester who starts moving a faster then the speed of sound, her pick whirling in the frozen orange slab till she reaches the tresure, and orange snow cone!" Pedot recites: "A beautiful, perfect orange snow cone!" Pedot says, "The unirolton was clearly interested in helping with the digestion of said snow cone." Pedot says, "And the blue monkeys shrieked with excitement." Pedot says, "Our Jester raised her orange snowcone in triumph." Pedot says, "And then she saw it..." Pedot says, "A glyph appeared when light passed through the ice of the cone." Pedot says, "It was foreign and familiar all at once." Pedot exclaims, "She knew she had to work fast as the snowcone was beginning to melt!" Pedot asks, "What could the glyph mean?" Pedot asks, "What did it...DO?" Pedot asks, "What was it for?" Pedot says, "Her mind raced with the possiblities..." Pedot says, "And then she saw it..." Pedot says, "The word lingering there in her mind..." Pedot says, "There but unreachable..." Pedot exclaims, "HOME!" Pedot says, "And with excitement and regret the wonderful dream around her collapsed." Pedot says, "With a cry of anguish our Jester found herself lying in a red puddle, choking on some vile mess..." Pedot says, "That tasted nothing like banana custard." Pedot says, "Fortunately the town citizens were accustomed to our Jester's antics." Pedot says, "They roared with laughter at her tale of rolticorns and blue monkeys and gummy chariots." Pedot says, "Some said she had drank too much ale." Pedot says, "Others said perhaps they had not had enough to keep up with her." Pedot exclaims, "But in the end, everyone agreed that banana custard was the best battle cry of all time!" You say, "And so... ends the tale of our Adventuring Jester..." You say, "But wait..." You exclaim, "Suddenly, the rift began to grow more amorphous, collapsing in upon itself, but not disappearing. Instead, it became tendril like... and reached out!" You say, "It lashed this way and that, gripping tightly about the waist of our bunny-clad Jester, and pulled her within it's interior, before shrinking to the size of a mere key-hole. Our Jester's tale was not yet done, it seems...." Mithogras says, "So there our Jester was, dragged through the rift and as it shrunk to almost unnoticeable size, the bystanders outside heard a very angry voice, muffled slightly from passing through the miniscule opening." Mithogras yells, "Rotten bananas!" Adryanne whispers, "Ah intresting choice." Mithogras says, "She found herself wet with liquid again, but decidely not cherries. Nor was there a lot of it, she wasn't submerged at all." Mithogras says, "In fact, she was at rest in the middle of a brackish puddle of water. As if to emphasize the point, the largest mosquito she'd ever seen landed on the tip of the nose and skewered her, beginning to drink its lunch." Mithogras says, "She angrily swatted at it and tried to stand up, only to stumble in the slippery mud of the pool. Now her entire face was mud splattered! Just then she heard a shout." Mithogras exclaims, "Hooo! Davin, lookit wot we caught!" Mithogras says, "She snapped her head in the direction of the voice to see a pair of scruffy humans seated around a campfire built in front of the most ramshackle lean-to she'd ever conceived." Mithogras says, "They both were in the process of rising and soon as they'd completed that, they started rushing toward her. Our Jester scrambled to her feet and began running but didn't get three steps before something closed around her ankle and jerked, lifting her high into the air." Mithogras exclaims, "Ah told ya that snare'd be worth the time, Leeray, I told ya!" Mithogras says, "Her captors kept running until they were directly in front of the now-upside-down-hanging Jester. One of them reached out a finger and poked her bunny-suit right in the belly. "Oh listen, she squeaks!"." Mithogras says, "Mortified at her cowardly reaction, she worked up her courage and stammered, "Wh-who are you?! And how far away do you think you can run before my friends get here?"." Mithogras says, ""yer friends? Where?!" one of the men asked nervously. The other laughed and said, "Hah, she's bluffin' Davin. We caught 'er through one of that dark priest's portal-thingies."." Mithogras says, ""They won't have any idea where she's gone to!" he continued." Mithogras says, ""You're right, fellows," she said, "I was just bluffing, there's no Militia squad thinking to me on the am--I mean, nobody looking for me. Who are you guys anyhow?"." Mithogras says, "The pair looked at each other a bit nervously, but Leeray seemed confident yet and and answered, "Why, we're the famous Darkstone Bandit Gang, that's who!"." Mithogras says, "The Jester remembered something about this gang, but she just said, "The who?"." Mithogras says, "The Darkstone Bandits! That's us! Where we tread, men are scared!"." Mithogras says, ""Roltons, too, I bet," muttered our heroine." Mithogras asks, "Wot?" said Davin?" Mithogras says, "Behind them all, they heard a loud snap. As they turned their heads, they saw a tree falling right for them." Shilarra says, "But there was nothing around them, they peered into the foilege where they heard a snorting." Shilarra says, "They heard heavy breathing, yet nothing." Shilarra says, "'the two bandits glanced at each other before glancing at our Jester." Shilarra says, "Our Jester with the now melon sized mosquito bite on her nose fit right in, but took a step back when the bandit's looked in her direction." Shilarra says, "Wwhhhhhhhhaaaaat...she stammered." Shilarra says, "Another tree came crashing down, than another." Shilarra says, "Pretty soon they where surrounded by a wall of trees surrounding them and corraling them in." Shilarra says, "Our Jester grabbed her flaming pink sword and held it above her head, causing the bandits to squeal and backpeddle from her." Shilarra says, "Moans where heard the bandits dropped to their knees they where trembling so hard." Shilarra exclaims, "Our Jester circled the ring in which she was trapped, she let out a piercing whistle and who was to appear but the Rolticorn with wings!" Shilarra exclaims, "The Rolticorn flew into the middle of the circle of felled trees and knelt before our Jester, who grabbed on to it's horn and mount it's back, just in time too!" Shilarra says, "The Rolticorn started to rise as blue wisps appeared in the circle, 4 undead blue elves with dripping teeth and stips of hide missing off their backs." Shilarra says, "The Rolticorn rose into the air with our Jester branishing her flaming sword, cackling as she watched the undead blue elves bite and claw at the bandits." You quietly whisper to Adryanne, "If not, the story is completely yours, all you have to do is incorporate a demon somehow." Adryanne says, "Once our Jester was clear of the battling undead blue elfs and terrifided bandits an dark voice stage whispered..." Adryanne says, "We are not quite done with you yet" and the dark lord arived with a large hooded being." Adryanne says, "The hooded being lowered the hood an revealed itself to be an Demon." Jornaal says, "Seeing that the hooded figure finally revealed itself to be a demon, the Jester broke out into a giggle." Jornaal says, "She had this giggling fit, because the demon wasn't wearing any pants. Which she thought was weird, so she waved her flaming sword at the demon, and asked it." Jornaal asks, "Why aren't you wearing any pants?" Jornaal says, "The demon just glared at her, it was not amused, but it looked down and saw that the Jester was right, it wasn't wearing any pants and in a gravely voice, it told her." Jornaal says, "Because fish can't swim backwards in a swift moving upwards flowing stream." Jornaal says, "Well, this made the Jester giggle more, besides, who'd expect some kind of answer from that? The giggling jester just made the demon more irritated though and it glared and huffed at her in annoyance as it thought of a way to get back at her." Jornaal says, "It's not the kind of answer you would expect from a demon. Well, the giggling jester made the demon even more irritated, so while she was busy being distracted by her giggles." Jornaal says, "He prepared a spell that he knew and glared at her while he cast the spell at her, cursing her! What ws this curse? Well, it was so bad she turned into a..." Mithogras exclaims, "The curse was so bad she turned into a winged rolticorn!" Mithogras asks, "With a bleat of surprise, she began to backpedal, seeing that she couldn't even handle her magnificent pink sword anymore. What could she do against a demon?" Mithogras exclaims, "Panicking, she started to run. She heard the massive footfalls of the pantless demon behind her, and ran faster. Suddenly she realized that she was running through a town! And she knew the town, this was Mist Harbor!" You let out a cheer! Mithogras says, "She raced down the street and almost crashed into the mirror in the commons, only succeeding in avoiding breaking it into a million peices by digging her hooves into the street." Mithogras says, "She caught sight of herself in the mirror." Mithogras exclaims, "Wings!" Mithogras exclaims, "A thought began to percolate as the demon approached nearer and nearer. She flapped those wings and took off!" Mithogras says, "The demon was of the wingless variety and stood there Mithogras says, "Free at least, she decided that after all that peril, she deserved a treat, and headed to Fickle, from whom she wheedled a peach pie by being roltonishly cute." Mithogras says, "As she noshed on the pie, she felt something odd inside it and pulled out a wadded piece of parchment, which she proceeded to unrol.." Mithogras exclaims, "There was writing on the parchment!" Mithogras says, "It said: FOR TRUE DESTINY, THE ROLTICORN FLIES SOUTH FROM THE LIGHTHOUSE." Mithogras says, "She thought about that. Then she nodded to herself slowly." Mithogras says, "And then..." Mithogras says, "The demon caught up with her." Shilarra says, "She laughed at the demon as it jumped and pawed at her, flying south she flew into the jungle with the demon blazing a trail through the trees after the Rolijestercorn." Shilarra says, "The Rolijestercorn, rolled and glided around the demon egging it on, flying around it's head and between it's legs narrowly missing the fire flying from it's claws, she flew and flew, looped and dipped the demons eyes blazed red with hate, and fire, it almost caught our Rolijestercorn, but not paying attention to the terrain it ran smack into the side of a cliff falling to the ground it saw fuzzy pink squirrles glide around it's head." Mithogras exclaims, "Fuzzy pink squirrels, that's a bad sign!" Shilarra says, "Our brave Rolijestercorn, flew to the top of the cliff and started pushing boulders down on the demon, some bounced some splatted." Shilarra says, "Some just cracked on it's head." Shilarra says, "It swatted at her like as if she was a flying gnat." Shilarra says, "The demons paw finally clipped on of her wings and sent her tumbling through the air right for a waterfall, she plunged through the water fall, falling into the deep pool as she did, she swallowed a whole platton of clams, suddenly she didn't feel so good." Shilarra says, "She popped out of the water water dripping off her horn and wings." Shilarra says, "She heard a pop, and one wing disappered then the other, her horn sparkled in the moonlight and then poof the Rolijestercorn, was gone, what was left was a soaked Jester holding a flaming pink blade with a mouthfull of clams." Adryanne says, "The Dark Priest quickly approached her, barely giving her time to raise her defenses." Adryanne says, "She swung her flaming sword and missed by an hair." Jornaal exclaims, "It's a good thing she missed that hair! because it was her own and that flaming sword of hers nearly singed her beautiful hair!" Jornaal says, "Well, seeing as she almost torched her own hair, it distracted the dark priest. this gave the Jester a chance to make her strike1 she wasn't going to miss the chance." Jornaal says, "So she lunged at the priest with her flaming sword. The priest didn't see her coming until the last moment and was unable to fully dodge the Jornaal says, "Well the priest had to take this fight a bit more seriously now, as he wasn't quite ready to have his life end here." Jornaal says, "The jester didn't give up though, she kept pressing her attacking.. First swinging one way! then the other! The flames making a whoooshing sound as they swished past the priests face." Jornaal says, "Well, not liking this the priest kept backing up and backing up. Staying just out of the way." Jornaal says, "Yes, the priest didn't want to die, so he attacked the Jester back! but his attacks were futile, because her flaming sword kept him from getting too close, though mostly because it was pink and horrible." Jornaal says, "But don't let the pink sword fool you! Pink sword are dangerous! especially when they are on fire, like this one was." Jornaal exclaims, "Well, as her swinging blade got closer and closer to the priest. He finally just screamed and put his hands up and shouted at the Jester, "Fine! I give up, you win! Here take the sword you want, I give it back to you, I don't want it anymore! Just take your rolticorns and pink swords and get them away from me!" Jornaal exclaims, "So the Jester took the sword from the priest and handed him the flaming pink sword, smiled at him and wandered away, to take the griffin sword home!" You exclaim, "Why... the Griffin Sword, of course!" You say, "It is called such a sword, because if the might wings Griffin it commands! Swooping from the sky, was a large, terrible griffin. Though gentle, under the sway of the sword, it allowed our Jester to mount is back. Clumsily, mind you, for no such beast would summit to a saddle." You say, "Lifting it's head, it releases a terrible shriek... which shakes the heavens and the earth, and reopens the bloody portal the Jester had drove thru." You say, "With another shriek, the portal stabilized, and was no longer crimson, by pearly white. Leaping upwards, it took to the sky, and then dove into the portal itself, carrying with it our bunny-clad Jester." . You say, "As the portal re-opened, just outside Hearthstone, yet the griffin did not emerge. Only the Jester, and a single griffin feather... along with the sword, came tumbling outwards, rolling to a stop before the crowd of shocked bystanders." You say, "The halfling lad from earlier immediately pointed to the sword, and announced..." You recite: "The Jester Lady brought back the Griffin Sword!" You say, "What he said next, was drowned out by the roar of the crowd, as they hoisted her upon their shoulders, and carried her off towards the temple for celebration...."